Joke of the Day
A doctor walks into his office the Monday after Thanksgiving. He has over thirty patients already scheduled, hundreds of labs and other documents to sign off on, and thirty pressing patient calls waiting. Then the phones get turned on from the answering service and all hell breaks loose.
You finish the rest……
That is a “sick” joke!
He announces to the waiting room: “Go to the ER!”
Then he notices that most of his patents are wearing international orange hats, vests, pants and smell like some wild game in estrus. Ah, the FIRST DAY of rifle hunting season… They all are in to get an excuse for missing work for a few days. “Nurse Ratched”, he says, “here is my name stamp and the School and Work Excuse pad. Get Mary Sue (the CNA) to take care of the hunters, give them 24 hours off, charge them a 99211 and then start triaging the REAL patients.” By the of the day, word has spread that Ol’ Doc Apple is “hunter friendly” and the parking lot resembles some surreal Disney abatoir. Mary Sue spends the rest of the week crying about “the horror” and Nurse Ratched has promises for enough venison to fill both her and your freezers until next year.
Arriving in this scenario precipitates a migraine headache. The physician tries to remedy this with an ergot. Then, while vomiting between patients, tries to ascertain if his vomiting is from the ergot alkaloid or the average BMI>45-induced intertriginous yeast infection odor permeating his waiting room and office. Pinching himself, he realizes this is not a nightmare but real life.
…then he flips on the news to hear another politician talking about how the Affordable Care Act will provide greater access for more patients, even as it brings down costs, and the doc realizes that the sheep who bought this idiocy are now crowding his waiting room.