Top Ten Reasons Your Laptop is…. (sent in by a reader and for mature audiences)

EMR, uhhg.

Like most non-medical “advances” in medicine in the past decades(HMO’s, cost-limiting formularies, etc.), it has improved the lives of someone other than physicians.

The clerical staff no longer play find-the-chart, billing can e-file claims, my transcriptionists took the early retirement we subsidized at $.14/line for the last 10 years, and triage can track me around the #u(%ing globe with Mrs. Rotenbotham’s request for Flagyl and a Diflucan tablet, ready for my instant approval and insta-fax to the pharmacy of their choice with the stroke of a key.

All for the mere cost of my evenings, spent in front of its depressing glow.

“Death by a thousand clicks” my partner calls it.

So after spending more time with my laptop than my wife at night, I’ve come up with:


The Top Ten Reasons Your Laptop is Better Than Your Wife


10. Your leg doesn’t go numb if it sits on your lap for too long.

9. Its bottom stays warm even when its not turned on.

8. It shows me porn when I ask.

7. It doesn’t shut down if you press its buttons.

6. Upgrading does not involve lawyers for both parties.

5. You can’t catch any of its viruses.

4. Worms either.

3. You can increase brightness.

2. You can decrease its volume.

1. You don’t have to buy it jewelry every time it goes down on you.


Sir Writes-a-lot Of Scedulednarcs,

North Carolina


* from the editor:  I did not write this but I think it is damn funny.  I invite anyone to send in the T”op Ten Reasons Your Laptop is Better than Your Husband”

7380cookie-checkTop Ten Reasons Your Laptop is…. (sent in by a reader and for mature audiences)