Unfinished Business

Here is a joke that may make you think about  where healthcare is going:

A company chairman was given a ticket for a performance of Schubert’s Unfinished Symphony.  Since he was unable to go, he passed the invitation to the company’s Quality Assurance Manager.  The next morning, the chairman asked him how he enjoyed it, and instead of a few plausible observations, he was handed a memorandum, which read as follows:

1.  For a considerable period, the oboe players had nothing to do. Their number should be reduced, and their work spread over the whole orchestra, thus avoiding peaks of inactivity.

2.  All twelve violins were playing identical notes.  This seems unnecessary duplications, and the staff of this section should be drastically cut.  If a large volume of sound is really required, this could be obtained through the use of an amplifier.

3.  Much effort was involved in playing the demi-semiquavers.  This seems an excessive refinement, and it is recommended that all notes should be rounded up to the nearest semiquaver.  If this were done, it would be possible to use trainees instead of craftsman.

4.  No useful purpose is served by repeating with horns the passage that has already been handled by the strings.  If all such redundant passages were eliminated, the concert could be reduced from two hours to twenty minutes.

In light of the above, one can only conclude that had Schubert given attention to these matters, he probably would have had the time to finish his symphony.



Douglas Farrago MD

Douglas Farrago MD is a full-time practicing family doc in Forest, Va. He started Forest Direct Primary Care where he takes no insurance and bills patients a monthly fee. He is board certified in the specialty of Family Practice. He is the inventor of a product called the Knee Saver which is currently in the Baseball Hall of Fame. The Knee Saver and its knock-offs are worn by many major league baseball catchers. He is also the inventor of the CryoHelmet used by athletes for head injuries as well as migraine sufferers. Dr. Farrago is the author of four books, two of which are the top two most popular DPC books. From 2001 – 2011, Dr. Farrago was the editor and creator of the Placebo Journal which ran for 10 full years. Described as the Mad Magazine for doctors, he and the Placebo Journal were featured in the Washington Post, US News and World Report, the AP, and the NY Times. Dr. Farrago is also the editor of the blog Authentic Medicine which was born out of concern about where the direction of healthcare is heading and the belief that the wrong people are in charge. This blog has been going daily for more than 15 years Article about Dr. Farrago in Doximity Email Dr. Farrago – [email protected] 

  3 comments for “Unfinished Business

  1. Dr M.Syed Basharuthulla
    September 13, 2012 at 4:35 am

    Apart from joke,this is the exact way A Quality Assurance Manager would typically react, further the management would faithfully approve. Whether Music or Medicine they have no knowledge! Well said

  2. robert l erickson
    September 12, 2012 at 11:25 am


    • Sir Tenthumbs
      September 12, 2012 at 3:58 pm

      Laughed till I cried.

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