Dr. Poop

hj

Say hello to Emory University medical resident, Dr. Hunter Johnson,  who has donated stool samples for multiple patients who need life-saving procedures called fecal transplants.  I always wanted to do a parody on the this procedure for the Placebo Journal but never got around to it.  Pity.  Fecal transplants are becoming a treatment of choice for recurrent C. diff infections.  Basically, you take stool from a healthy patient and transplant it into the colon of a C. diff sufferer to restore the balance of bacteria. It’s not pretty.  The story in this NBC news piece about Dr. Johnson is heartwarming if not gut wrenching.  I love the quote where it says:

In addition, a good donor has to have predictable bowel habits and be able to perform, as it were, on demand. Johnson typically donates on the morning of a patient’s transplant. “They want it to be relatively fresh,” he said.

How can you not laugh?   What if they need some stool stat?  Do they order in Taco Bell for Dr.  Johnson?  Well, you have to give this guy credit.   He may have a shitty job but feels good about himself.    What?  You didn’t think I would pass up a chance to get cheap laughs, did you?   Think about it.  The rest of this doctor’s life he will be shit on so why not enjoy his time to shine while he has it?   Okay, I will stop.  Please, send me your jokes or puns and I will make a top ten list for next week.

Douglas Farrago MD

Douglas Farrago MD is a full-time practicing family doc in Forest, Va. He started Forest Direct Primary Care where he takes no insurance and bills patients a monthly fee. He is board certified in the specialty of Family Practice. He is the inventor of a product called the Knee Saver which is currently in the Baseball Hall of Fame. The Knee Saver and its knock-offs are worn by many major league baseball catchers. He is also the inventor of the CryoHelmet used by athletes for head injuries as well as migraine sufferers. Dr. Farrago is the author of four books, two of which are the top two most popular DPC books. From 2001 – 2011, Dr. Farrago was the editor and creator of the Placebo Journal which ran for 10 full years. Described as the Mad Magazine for doctors, he and the Placebo Journal were featured in the Washington Post, US News and World Report, the AP, and the NY Times. Dr. Farrago is also the editor of the blog Authentic Medicine which was born out of concern about where the direction of healthcare is heading and the belief that the wrong people are in charge. This blog has been going daily for more than 15 years Article about Dr. Farrago in Doximity Email Dr. Farrago – [email protected] 

  9 comments for “Dr. Poop

  1. judith
    May 17, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    There was a story recently on NPR about a fellow who has developed a mail-order business selling his own poop to people who have a certain parasite. He first had to go to some country in Africa and walk around barefoot in outhouses where this parasite thrived. He got infected and now his poop has antibodies or whatever, and it’s cheaper and apparently more effective for his customers to do home transplants from his stock than get normal medical care; probably cheaper too.
    Sorry I don’t remember details but you can probably track this down on the net. He has a website and there’s a whole underground of people who use this treatment but it’s on the QT because what he’s doing is illegal – of course!

  2. Vance
    May 16, 2013 at 10:00 am

    Dr. Poop: “I’m sorry ma’am, my poop isn’t on your insurance company’s formulary. It looks like you need to get generic branded fecal transplants. Please go down under the 5th street bridge. There’s a bucket in a refrigerator box there, that serves as a bathroom for 5 homeless alcoholics. That’s tier 1 for your plan, and will only cost you three dollars.”

    • Doug Farrago
      May 16, 2013 at 10:05 am

      brilliant.

  3. Vance
    May 16, 2013 at 9:56 am

    Moving into the custom fecal transplant business, Dr. Poop now offers creamy, extra crunchy, iron-enhanced red, and Johnny Cash black.

    Patient orders: Dr. Poop eats:

    Creamy Chinese Buffet, Pizza Hut Pan Pizza
    Extra Crunchy Peanuts and Corn
    Iron-Enhanced Red Chipotle
    Johnny Cash Black Pepto Bismol

    • Doug Farrago
      May 16, 2013 at 10:06 am

      It is bits like these that make me miss the Placebo Journal.

  4. Greg Salard
    May 16, 2013 at 9:50 am

    Dr. Johnson, he’s #1 at doing #2!

  5. John W.
    May 15, 2013 at 12:56 pm

    Dr Poop really knows his S**t!

  6. Jim
    May 15, 2013 at 11:24 am

    Eat shit or die?

  7. Joel Goode
    May 12, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    Doug,
    ? Mother’s Day ? Really? dr poop 😉
    Miss ya. Spencer turned me on to your site recently. Love It.
    In my best Jay Mohr voice…
    Well Doug.. You might say Dr Hunter gets paid ( hopefully) for laying down pipe.. (Or growing a tail)

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