Insane in the Membrane



Above is a list of reasons for admission to an insane asylum in the late 1800’s.   Wow.  I would have committed so many patients over the years that I would be out of patients.  Even worse, I would have to have committed myself as well.   We all would have been in there together!

Anyway, what is your favorite?  Here are some of mine:

  • Masturbation for 30 Years (Sorry, doc, I have only done it for 29)
  • Congestion of the Brain
  • Tobacco and Masturbation (at the same time?)
  • Egotism (how dare you commit me!)
  • Bad Whiskey
  • Excessive Sexual Abuse (is there a correct amount?)
  • Uterine Derangement (Ma’am, it’s a mess down there)
  • Female Disease (Hmmm, that includes 50% of the population who could have a disease)

Douglas Farrago MD

Douglas Farrago MD is a full-time practicing family doc in Forest, Va. He started Forest Direct Primary Care where he takes no insurance and bills patients a monthly fee. He is board certified in the specialty of Family Practice. He is the inventor of a product called the Knee Saver which is currently in the Baseball Hall of Fame. The Knee Saver and its knock-offs are worn by many major league baseball catchers. He is also the inventor of the CryoHelmet used by athletes for head injuries as well as migraine sufferers. Dr. Farrago is the author of four books, two of which are the top two most popular DPC books. From 2001 – 2011, Dr. Farrago was the editor and creator of the Placebo Journal which ran for 10 full years. Described as the Mad Magazine for doctors, he and the Placebo Journal were featured in the Washington Post, US News and World Report, the AP, and the NY Times. Dr. Farrago is also the editor of the blog Authentic Medicine which was born out of concern about where the direction of healthcare is heading and the belief that the wrong people are in charge. This blog has been going daily for more than 15 years Article about Dr. Farrago in Doximity Email Dr. Farrago – [email protected] 

  6 comments for “Insane in the Membrane

  1. Mike
    October 31, 2013 at 11:55 am

    Incredible – I believe you’ve discovered one of the early versions of the International Classification of Diseases!

  2. Melinda
    October 30, 2013 at 11:20 pm

    The one that gets me is “Imaginary Female Trouble.” We still have a real problem with that today! I know so many women who have been told repeatedly that their health issues were all in their heads, including what has ultimately turned out to be ovarian cancer, chronic carbon monoxide poisoning, Giant cell arteritis, vasculitis, mitochondrial disease, Carcinoid syndrome, Cushing’s syndrome, Lupus, Sjogren’s syndrome, scleroderma, and many other things (three of the above being me, another my mother, another a close friend, and others women I’ve met!) One woman had been seen by multiple doctors for an undiagnosed problem and she suddenly gained 100 pounds in 6 weeks, confirmed on the doctor’s scale–her doctor told her her problem was just in her head and she really should watch her weight, and she had to explain to him that there was no possible way she could eat an extra 350,000 calories to gain 100 pounds in 6 weeks even if she really tried to do so, and asked the doctor if HE could do such a thing, and he finally recognized electrolyte imbalances with fluid retention. How can a doctor call something like that imaginary? Why is it that if a doctor can’t find a woman’s diagnosis, they decide the problem must be imaginary? It all goes back to the root word of “hyster” for female body parts and also “hysterical.” Too bad we still can’t get past that concept all these years later!

  3. Debbie
    October 30, 2013 at 7:04 pm

    I’ve had just about all of these except “Kicked in the head by horse” I think or maybe I was kicked in the head by a horse? I don’t recall. It might have been when I had Scarlatina.

  4. Dave Mittman, PA, DFAAPA
    October 30, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    I am having a day today where I could go in……

    Interesting. What will they look at in 100 years and laugh about? Your “Low fat” posting of last week may be one of many diagnosis we make that they will wonder at?
    Dave Mittman, PA, DFAPPA

  5. Ken
    October 30, 2013 at 11:13 am

    I have had “Business nerves” and “Gathering in the head” several times over the last few years, and let me tell you, it was no walk in the park. Fortunately I have missed being “Decoyed into the army” so things are still manageable.

  6. Pat
    October 30, 2013 at 9:19 am

    Doug, for all the years of PJ and AM, for so many great, great entries, this is at least my favorite since the innaugural “Shitty Life Syndrome”, and possibly the best ever! I’ve no idea how you found this, but thank you!! The King reigns on!

    And I found so many that applied to me, I’m changing my name before they come to drag me away …

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