Clinical Optimization

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Anyone want a new job?  I recently received this email:

Accenture Health delivers a wide range of healthcare solutions—from health information management and electronic medical records to clinical transformation and health analytics. Our solutions are backed by real-world experience, business and clinical insights and innovative technologies. Accenture Health helps organizations around the world use knowledge in new ways for more effective, efficient and affordable healthcare with Insight Driven Health.

From physician groups and community hospitals to academic medical centers, healthcare providers have opportunities to deliver better healthcare. Taking advantage of new technologies and using innovative care delivery models, healthcare providers can use knowledge in new ways to deliver more effective, efficient and affordable healthcare with Insight Driven Health.

We are currently seeking a Clinical Optimization Physician to work in our Management Consulting Practice.

Some of the highlights of this role include:

Advise on the improvement of clinical performance (cost and quality) through the use of information technology, process improvement and business model changes for health systems
Act as the translator between physicians, clinicians and IS across the continuum of care.
Educate, engage and support physicians and other users of clinical information systems.

Some basic qualifications for this role include:

M.D. degree
0-5 years of clinical experience (after MD)
Ability to travel up to 100%

What the hell is a Clinical Optimization Physician?  Isn’t this another term for Industrialized Medicine Consultant?  How about Cattle Prodding Manager?  Or Assembly Line Organizer?  Please feel free to add some more to the comment section below.

Douglas Farrago MD

Douglas Farrago MD is a full-time practicing family doc in Forest, Va. He started Forest Direct Primary Care where he takes no insurance and bills patients a monthly fee. He is board certified in the specialty of Family Practice. He is the inventor of a product called the Knee Saver which is currently in the Baseball Hall of Fame. The Knee Saver and its knock-offs are worn by many major league baseball catchers. He is also the inventor of the CryoHelmet used by athletes for head injuries as well as migraine sufferers. Dr. Farrago is the author of four books, two of which are the top two most popular DPC books. From 2001 – 2011, Dr. Farrago was the editor and creator of the Placebo Journal which ran for 10 full years. Described as the Mad Magazine for doctors, he and the Placebo Journal were featured in the Washington Post, US News and World Report, the AP, and the NY Times. Dr. Farrago is also the editor of the blog Authentic Medicine which was born out of concern about where the direction of healthcare is heading and the belief that the wrong people are in charge. This blog has been going daily for more than 15 years Article about Dr. Farrago in Doximity Email Dr. Farrago – [email protected] 

  13 comments for “Clinical Optimization

  1. Mary Helen Morrow, MD
    January 7, 2015 at 1:46 pm

    Let’s see:
    Slave driver?
    Overlord?
    Benedict Arnold?

  2. D Rogers
    January 7, 2015 at 11:23 am

    Of course they want to hire some young physician with <5 years experience, so they can tell them how to think about quality and performance…their definition of optimization. They don't want a seasoned, knowledgeable physician who already knows what works and what doesn't. Coming to a practice audit near you.

  3. Dr. Mago de Oz
    January 7, 2015 at 10:57 am

    Do you get at the top of the interview list if you have diphallia?

    • Sir Lance-a-Lot
      January 7, 2015 at 1:21 pm

      More like aphallia.

  4. esp
    January 5, 2015 at 12:08 pm

    Certainly anyone with more than 5 years of actual clinical experience with real patients would be overqualified for this position and presumably smart enough to not apply.

  5. Russell
    January 5, 2015 at 10:50 am

    Osteopaths need not apply apparently.

    • Sir Lance-a-Lot
      January 5, 2015 at 12:58 pm

      … Which would seem odd, since the thing they do so well is “manipulation.”

  6. Pat
    January 5, 2015 at 9:56 am

    Sometimes I have fantasies of taking a job like this, (or Medicare auditor) just to get ill-gotten cash for creating as much misery and mayhem as possible, hastening a collpase of the whole rotten structure. Of course, the amount of liquor I’d have to consume to numb my conscience would quickly kill me…

  7. Steve_O'_
    January 5, 2015 at 9:10 am

    Beat me to it.
    A Judas goat is a trained goat used in general animal herding. The Judas goat is trained to associate with sheep or cattle, leading them to a specific destination. In stockyards, a Judas goat will lead sheep to slaughter, while its own life is spared. E.g. Dr. Jones, MD JG

    • Prof._Steve_O'
      January 5, 2015 at 9:23 am

      Clearly, if you had obtained your MBA in health sciences from my on-line Trailerpark University, you would see that this position is for an expert in “Shaken-Baby Management.”
      When there is a perceived crisis, management rushes to the site and shakes the baby until it stops crying. This explains a lot in healthcare managerial strategy.
      [PS $12.50 on PayPal]

  8. Dr Bonz
    January 5, 2015 at 6:59 am

    “…Our solutions are backed by real-world experience, business and clinical insights and innovative technologies. Accenture Health helps organizations around the world use knowledge in new ways for more effective, efficient and affordable healthcare with Insight Driven Health.

    From physician groups and community hospitals to academic medical centers, healthcare providers have opportunities to deliver better healthcare. Taking advantage of new technologies and using innovative care delivery models, healthcare providers can use knowledge in new ways to deliver more effective, efficient and affordable healthcare with Insight Driven Health.”

    WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Is this even English? It sounds like some spoof on a Saturday Night Live skit making fun of a company/business that uses ridiculous words/phrases like this just for the sake of making themselves sound important.

    • Vardoc
      January 7, 2015 at 1:22 pm

      It’s CorpSpeak, but in Psychobabble dialect, Sir Bonz. Cutting edge technology and innovation require require commensurate semantics…

  9. Sir Lance-a-lot
    January 5, 2015 at 6:49 am

    “Judas” fits pretty well.

Comments are closed.