Choosing Your Physician by Jack Forbush DO

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Okay, so I’m not sure about all of you, but I’m a little tired of this “match” service for finding a physician. I’ve never thought that finding a physician would be the equivalent of a “hook up” service. They have apps for that don’t they….”Tinder” anyone?

For that matter, I didn’t know you could “break up” with your physician! It is reassuring to know that there is a local healthcare organization willing to “help you out” when that happens! Perhaps the mental health and counseling services aren’t as sparse as I thought!

Since when did finding a “compatible” physician or “healthcare provider” become a dating service? As a potential new business, perhaps I should register the domain, www.patientsonly.com? Seems to be working for the farmers and “country-folk”. (by the way, as of today, the domain is available if anyone is looking for a business partern)

I didn’t know that being a doctor meant signing up for a meat-market lineup! By the way, were is the catwalk? I want to see what the latest in physician fashion is…are pumps back in style? How about hip-hugger, bell-bottoms? I think I might still have a powder-blue cumberbun kicking around…hope that will get me in the door!

Sure, everyone wants a physician who is nice, pleasant, good-looking, has a smashing smile, whose hours jive with my life (after all, isn’t that what all narcissistic Americans want anyway?), but to be honest, I’d trade all of that for one who is competent…one that spends time learning who I am and one how is willing to address more than one problem during a visit (it is hard to believe that there are offices in our area that limit office visits to 15 minutes…in some cases 7 minutes!). I’d like to have a doctor one who acknowledges our difference of opinions, but doesn’t kick me to the curb when we disagree (ie, no vaccinations…see yeah later!). A doctor who educates me on my healthcare options and is smart enough to think independently rather than following a “protocol” devised by a nameless committee comprised of folks who either aren’t doctors or haven’t laid eyes on a patient since the last century. That’s what I want and I suspect you do too.

By the way, I’m 6′, a tad over 200 pounds, enjoy obstacle course racing, driving with the top down, cruising in the open air on my Harley and beta testing new software. Plus I’m a dog lover and available after hours. So I guess I’m one of those bad-boy, atheletic, geek types. Looks like I have my bases covered. Can’t wait to see how many folks want to “match” with me!

Jack Forbush DO is a regular reader of Authentic Medicine.  He is also a friend and a fellow DPC’er.  This post can be seen at thedoc.bangordailynews.com

Douglas Farrago MD

Douglas Farrago MD is a full-time practicing family doc in Forest, Va. He started Forest Direct Primary Care where he takes no insurance and bills patients a monthly fee. He is board certified in the specialty of Family Practice. He is the inventor of a product called the Knee Saver which is currently in the Baseball Hall of Fame. The Knee Saver and its knock-offs are worn by many major league baseball catchers. He is also the inventor of the CryoHelmet used by athletes for head injuries as well as migraine sufferers. Dr. Farrago is the author of four books, two of which are the top two most popular DPC books. From 2001 – 2011, Dr. Farrago was the editor and creator of the Placebo Journal which ran for 10 full years. Described as the Mad Magazine for doctors, he and the Placebo Journal were featured in the Washington Post, US News and World Report, the AP, and the NY Times. Dr. Farrago is also the editor of the blog Authentic Medicine which was born out of concern about where the direction of healthcare is heading and the belief that the wrong people are in charge. This blog has been going daily for more than 15 years Article about Dr. Farrago in Doximity Email Dr. Farrago – [email protected]

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4 Responses

  1. Mary K Freel says:

    The doctors here may not agree with me but I think the best way to find a dr. is to ask a nurse!! The nurses who work with the doctors will be blunt with you about whether or not the dr. is competent, caring, consistent, etc. If the doctor throws his ego around on the medical floor perhaps he’ll do the same in the office. I picked my ortho dr. when I saw him pick up a peds patient and change the diaper instead of yelling for a nurse to do it. Said volumes about his caring attitude. I was a nurse for 22 years and I worked alongside all kinds–competent and incompetent, caring and uncaring, the nurse sees it all. I agree that the extra crap about how he looks, what he does in his off time, etc. has no place in a ratings system. Lets see how many malpractice or complaints to the state board he has. The other way to pick a doctor is word of mouth between patients and I saw that happening a lot at the hospital and other places. Besides some people like being told what to do and others want to share fully with the management of their health. One size doesn’t fit all.

  2. Steve O' says:

    Aw, it’s only a temporary trend – it’ll be gone by ICD-11 or 12, just around the corner.

    The new whiz-bang will be the CGI-doc, who I’ve nicknamed “AlishaMD” You don’t have to go through the risks of the dating service, and be disappointed. The Japanese have been good at developing interactive CGI porn….umm, I read that somewhere. What’s the difference between a prostitute and a primary care doctor? [One gets more respect from the customer, and doesn’t have billing problems, I suppose.]

    A Doc-Head on a monitor, selected BY YOU in video feedback to seem the most empathetic and familiar – no more of those weird east-Indian accents, nosir! And they are programmed when to smile, and how to say things – and judge YOUR reaction, you patient. The cubicles will be private, and unlike with real meat doctors, you can take an ENDLESS amount of time with your CGI doc – who never stops caring!

    Never out sick – never deviating from Best Practices – no family worries or insecurity. A CGI Doc is in your future! None of that icky-sticky “humanity” but a perfect sunny mirror to reflect your OWN goodness. Anyone want Dr. Phil? Dr. Oz? Mine will be a blend of Barbara Eden and Elizabeth Montgomery, I’m sure. Dr. BaLiz MD.

    Nothing exists except for its entertainment value. Who wants to ask for Viagra from some harried, rushed primary care doc you just waited an hour for? Dr. BaLiz will be glad to take your history. And all we see is what we see in the mirror, after all.

    • Steve O' says:

      And, doc….you’re about 20 lbs on the ‘jolly side.’ When the Alternate Universe comes around, my CGI doc won’t be a guy, and will have a BMI of 19 or thusabout. Because I said so.

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