Hospital Meetings

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I remember going to staff meetings years ago when I worked for a hospital.  Brutal.  Sure, I had some enthusiasm when I first started out but then I realized what an absolute waste of time it was.  The people in charge, administrators, were going to do whatever they wanted to anyway while the minions, us doctors, thought we had a say in the matter.  Silly doctors.  Anyway, it got to be such a joke that doctors would just never show up anymore.  Soon there were many more administrators there (because they keep replicating) then doctors. I also remember making up ways to stall a meeting or create chaos just for shits and giggles.  I figured that if the administrators were going to torture me then I would both actively and passively torture them.  I would have the group define “quality” when they were imposing ridiculous metrics.  I would ask the opinion of a “slow talker” in order to grind the meeting to a halt.  There were so many different ways to do this that it became fun.  Alas, I don’t go to meetings anymore but I did see this hysterical article on the 10 Tricks to Appear Smart During Meetings.  Brilliant. I highly recommend you try some of these at your next hospital meeting.  It will piss off the administrators and hopefully slow some ridiculous policies down.

Douglas Farrago MD

Douglas Farrago MD is a full-time practicing family doc in Forest, Va. He started Forest Direct Primary Care where he takes no insurance and bills patients a monthly fee. He is board certified in the specialty of Family Practice. He is the inventor of a product called the Knee Saver which is currently in the Baseball Hall of Fame. The Knee Saver and its knock-offs are worn by many major league baseball catchers. He is also the inventor of the CryoHelmet used by athletes for head injuries as well as migraine sufferers. Dr. Farrago is the author of four books, two of which are the top two most popular DPC books. From 2001 – 2011, Dr. Farrago was the editor and creator of the Placebo Journal which ran for 10 full years. Described as the Mad Magazine for doctors, he and the Placebo Journal were featured in the Washington Post, US News and World Report, the AP, and the NY Times. Dr. Farrago is also the editor of the blog Authentic Medicine which was born out of concern about where the direction of healthcare is heading and the belief that the wrong people are in charge. This blog has been going daily for more than 15 years Article about Dr. Farrago in Doximity Email Dr. Farrago – [email protected] 

  2 comments for “Hospital Meetings

  1. Marlan
    March 11, 2015 at 8:21 pm

    Actually the reason for meetings is job justification for administrators . It gives them something to put on their resume. One key point with meetings is whatever you do, don’t ask questions because you will only prolong the agony.

  2. Bill Ameen, MD
    March 7, 2015 at 10:47 am

    Once again, right on the money, Dr. Doug! I would add #11, try to use the word “paradigm” at least once! God, I hated staff meetings and avoided committees like the plague (especially “ad hoc” committees!). I rarely even had staff meetings in my office unless there were major issues…everything else got solved in a day-to-day basis without wasting anybody’s time. When I was an ER director in 1979 I had to serve on the Executive Committee…Jeez, did I feel like a turd in a punchbowl!
    When some suits spoke to our hospital staff a couple of years ago about “Lean Six Sigma” and put up a slide that looked like six bowling balls, all the doctors sat there silently. I filed out with a cardiologist friend and said, “I have two degrees and am a member of Mensa, and I have no idea what the f*** they were talking about!”

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