Introducing the Care Coordinator

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I just found a huge steaming pile of made-up terms in this article called Avoiding the ER: ‘Care coordinators’ see increased role in health care evolution.  Right off the bat, in the title, comes Care Coordinator and Health Care Evolution.  That was my first hint that the bullsh&t was about to fly.  To my delight, the meaningless article did not let me down. I decided to dissect out how many more administralian terms were used in this article:

The workshop was the first in Oregon, though Regence has held them in Washington and Idaho. The purpose is to allow clinical personnel to share best practices to support Total Cost of Care, Accountable Health Networks and the Medicare Quality Incentive Program.

Best practices.  Total Cost of Care.   Accountable Health Networks.  Medicare Quality Incentive Program.  Ahhh, the four horseman of bullsh$t.  Well played.

Care coordination is an essential component of the move away from “fee-for-service” to value-based care, or population health, said Dr. Jim Guyn, executive medical director of Accountable Health and Quality at Cambia Health Solutions, Regence’s parent company.

Value-based care and population health.  My diagnosis?  Verbal diarrhea.

Dr. Prasanna Krishnasamy, medical director for Medical Home at Legacy Medical Group, said this shift is “resource intensive,” as care coordinators are put in place and procedures standardized. It may take several years to see a return on investment in the form of reduced utilization and improved quality metrics.

Resource Intensive, reduced utilization and improved quality metrics.  It’s like he is asking “How can I so little by saying so much?”

“There’s a lot of front-loading,” he said. “It’s important to collaborate with the payers.”
Krishnasamy and other panelists said it’s helpful to give doctor’s incentives in their compensation for hitting quality metrics.

Front loading and collaborate with payers.  Well, this unadulterated crap means nothing to nobody.

Dr. Chad Lowe, who developed Adventist Health’s Resilience Center, said he once went so far as to track down a missing patient in a barn.

No new terms here but tracking a patient down in an barn, huh?  Well, that’s perfect because this type of healthcare is just herding cattle anyway.

“We do what we can to avoid hospitalizations,” he said. “When there’s a need, we do it.”
Krishnasamy said it’s important for doctors to do a “warm handoff” to introduce patients to the care coordinator on the team.

Warm handoff.  Sounds pornographic.

“Patients want to connect with people,” he said.

Really?  Actually, patients just want to connect with their doctors.  Remember them? And this kind of crap is stopping that from happening.