My New Favorite Medical Excuse

Sometimes my mind wanders. Sometimes I have this internal conversation that acts as a little critic saying such things as “That’s bullsh%t” or “No way, they’re lying” and on and on. This came up recently when I read this article in the Wall St. Journal called No Ride for You? Uber’s Risky Ratings. The gist is that Uber wants respect to go both ways and feels some riders need to be excluded for their bad behavior. Ok, I get that. The social media world is pissed because they feel some of these ratings are unfair. Ok, sounds reasonable. Then the article listed some examples and that is when my brain went into overdrive:

Yet, while Uber’s examples of poor behavior seem reasonable—yelling at your driver or leaving behind your trash—many users reported receiving low ratings based on factors outside their control. One said he got bad ratings for taking too long to get in and out of the car. He is disabled. Several American riders noted they received low scores abroad because they couldn’t speak the native language. And one elderly woman said she suspects her low ratings come from a health condition which gives her bad gas.

Disability? Can’t speak the language? All reasonable excuses. Bad gas? What the f%ck? Excuse me, Miss Daisy, but what health condition allows you to hotbox the driver? I’m sorry but if you can’t hold it for a 15-minute ride then I agree with Uber here. And I just love how people make up their own medical excuses. I can just see her asking her doctor for a note to allow her to “fart at will” when in an Uber. It would look like this:

“Miss Daisy has a condition where she will continually pass gas. Please allow her farts to be her emotionally support animal. Thank you, Dr. F”.


“Please allow Miss Daisy to Dutch Oven on as needed basis”.

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Douglas Farrago MD

Douglas Farrago MD is a full-time practicing family doc in Forest, Va. He started Forest Direct Primary Care where he takes no insurance and bills patients a monthly fee. He is board certified in the specialty of Family Practice. He is the inventor of a product called the Knee Saver which is currently in the Baseball Hall of Fame. The Knee Saver and its knock-offs are worn by many major league baseball catchers. He is also the inventor of the CryoHelmet used by athletes for head injuries as well as migraine sufferers. Dr. Farrago is the author of four books, two of which are the top two most popular DPC books. From 2001 – 2011, Dr. Farrago was the editor and creator of the Placebo Journal which ran for 10 full years. Described as the Mad Magazine for doctors, he and the Placebo Journal were featured in the Washington Post, US News and World Report, the AP, and the NY Times. Dr. Farrago is also the editor of the blog Authentic Medicine which was born out of concern about where the direction of healthcare is heading and the belief that the wrong people are in charge. This blog has been going daily for more than 15 years Article about Dr. Farrago in Doximity Email Dr. Farrago – [email protected] 

  1 comment for “My New Favorite Medical Excuse

  1. Steve O'
    June 9, 2019 at 6:35 pm

    In order to subjugate a people, make each the police and prosecutor of the other, reporting infractions to the all-commanding authorities. Join the people together as juries contemplating the guilty and assignment of mercy and punishment upon the fellow inmates. The more we accept the Eternal High School, the more we snitch and bitch at each other, the deeper in we dig ourselves.

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