Don’t buy a female doctor a crockpot for Christmas

I will say this one time: Don’t buy your female doctor friend/cousin/daughter-in-law a crockpot for Christmas.

Because this really is a conversation about the invisible workload of women

We’ve come a long way, it’s true. But we have further to go. 

Women still do the majority of the invisible work related to family and household. 

We do most of the caregiving and most of the cleaning and other household chores.

We also use up a LOT of brain space remembering who needs new cleats for soccer, who has to go to the dentist on Thursday, and who needs cupcakes for the holiday party at school. Not to mention scheduling grooming appointments for the dog, ordering Amazon grocery delivery and knowing how much toilet paper is left in the house.

And that’s only the stuff on the homefront.

At work, there are more expectations like this.

When I was the only female doctor at my family practice, the male doctors assumed that I would take care of choosing and buying Christmas presents for the staff. Because I was the girl. 

So let’s talk about why we female doctors don’t want a crockpot, or any other implied meaning gift, for Christmas.

#1: Crockpot meals do not fit into female doctor schedules. They cook for 4-6 hours! By the time you get home, that shit is dry. (Don’t even talk to me about programming the crockpot to start at a certain time. I have a D.O. degree. but I do NOT have the brain space or time to figure out when to defrost the meat, then put it in the crockpot at 5:30am, then program the crockpot to start at a certain time, then hope it doesn’t set my house on fire while everyone is out. No. thank. you.)

#2: We are tired of being superwoman/supermom. Your gift assumes that we are in charge of meals for our family, in addition to all the other things we’re in charge of (not least, co-raising our children and saving lives on the daily).

#3: We don’t want to fit into your idea of how we should be wives, moms, or women. We are breaking through glass ceilings and breaking barriers. There’s an expectation that to make a good home, you need a crockpot {or matching Fiesta ware, or a 4-slice toaster, or a food processor, or …}. We do things differently. 

#4: Maybe, just maybe, we want a gift that’s actually for US instead of for the house and the family.

Please just ask us what we really want

If we want a crockpot, we will ask. 

Or, we might ask for a massage, a gift certificate for a housecleaner, a fabulous pair of shoes, or a meal delivery service.
Or a gigantic Starbucks giftcard – because to a doctor, free caffeine = love.

Rant complete. Happy Holidays ya’ll!!!

(This one got out late. Sorry Errin!!)

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