Cellphone Charger Through Urethra or Dead Fish in Rectum: What’s Your Choice?
Ok, I need to lighten this blog up. Let’s go back to pointing out how f#cked up some people are. It’s called life and it is a reality in our business. People do crazy sh*t. And we doctors need to deal with it. It is therapeutic to talk about.
So, without further ado we have:
Contestant #1: An Indian man who went to the hospital with abdominal pain after he had inserted a mobile phone charger cable into his penis. This guy tried to tell the hospital docs he accidentally swallowed something but a full intestinal workup was negative. Alas, it was all in the bladder. Nothing like getting your rocks with a little zap by a phone charger.
VERSUS
Contestant #2: A Chinese 30-year-old man had gone to the hospital for severe abdominal pain. The patient, who remains anonymous, claimed that the fish slipped into his rectum after he had accidentally sat on the creature. Hmmm, I don’t know. That story sounds fishy to me.
So, there you have it. Two men with too much time on their hands. Here are my questions that I would like you to answer in the comment section:
- Whose you champion? Urethra Stud or Fish Man? They both seem to have serious game here.
- Which foreign object meets your fancy if you had to pick one to be tortured by? You know, if you were a prisoner of war or something.
Awaiting your responses.
Man…….Those dorsal fins would get get stuck in the rectal wall and that fish t’ain’t going anywhere. As far as stuff in the bladder goes. I had a robotic prostatectomy and went home with a foley catheter the next day. Didn’t do anything for me one way or the other. I was ok when the foley was removed 5 days later except I had urinary retention 12 hours later and was grateful when a foley was put back in. Was easy as no prostate in the way! Over 1000cc out and I didn’t go into shock. He!! I was relieved!
Urology said since I was a doctor I could remove it myself 2 days later. I was like WTF if this happens again? They said just come in and we’ll keep a slot open for you! Sheesh, at the appointed morning I drank a lot of coffee and water. I wanted the pee flowing. I got a hot shower running and brought a big garbage bag into the bathroom with me. I wanted no souvenirs!. Removed the foley, got into the shower and peed down my leg. A big smile followed. I mean stuff in my bladder didn’t do anything for me except I could drink a few beers at bedtime and not have to get up to go pee. Errrr, I dang well better get up early as that bag would be close to bursting!
channeling Deano
Shove that eel up some guy
Halfway up to the thigh
That’s a moray……
“So, there you have it. Two men with too much time on their hands. ”
I don’t think that time was what they had on their hands.
BTW, I have to go in for a cystoscopy soon. Now that image is in my head….
Phone charging cable, as I would be highly adverse to putting anything up my ass that might decompose.
Took care of a septic man who did that with a gerbil back in the 80s. He died a horrible death.
I would start with a jellyfish (stingers removed) or a Portuguese man-o war (stingers removed)………..or maybe an eel (the non-electric variety)
just saying…….
for me PERSONALLY I consider it to be a 1 way street
I think with the current Covid pandemic, many people are avoiding the ER, perhaps just laying at home suffering- SAD
I am an eye doctor- Foreign bodies are a bitch!
Doug, I would highly recommend the fish suppository. If you haven’t tried it yet, I would suggest you start with Blue Gills. Don’t worry, you can work your way up to dolphins. Just start small.
LOL