Cellphone Charger Through Urethra or Dead Fish in Rectum: What’s Your Choice?

Ok, I need to lighten this blog up. Let’s go back to pointing out how f#cked up some people are. It’s called life and it is a reality in our business. People do crazy sh*t. And we doctors need to deal with it. It is therapeutic to talk about.

So, without further ado we have:

Contestant #1: An Indian man who went to the hospital with abdominal pain after he had inserted a mobile phone charger cable into his penis. This guy tried to tell the hospital docs he accidentally swallowed something but a full intestinal workup was negative. Alas, it was all in the bladder. Nothing like getting your rocks with a little zap by a phone charger.

VERSUS

Contestant #2: A Chinese 30-year-old man had gone to the hospital for severe abdominal pain. The patient, who remains anonymous, claimed that the fish slipped into his rectum after he had accidentally sat on the creature. Hmmm, I don’t know. That story sounds fishy to me.

So, there you have it. Two men with too much time on their hands. Here are my questions that I would like you to answer in the comment section:

  1. Whose you champion? Urethra Stud or Fish Man? They both seem to have serious game here.
  2. Which foreign object meets your fancy if you had to pick one to be tortured by? You know, if you were a prisoner of war or something.

Awaiting your responses.

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Douglas Farrago MD

Douglas Farrago MD is a full-time practicing family doc in Forest, Va. He started Forest Direct Primary Care where he takes no insurance and bills patients a monthly fee. He is board certified in the specialty of Family Practice. He is the inventor of a product called the Knee Saver which is currently in the Baseball Hall of Fame. The Knee Saver and its knock-offs are worn by many major league baseball catchers. He is also the inventor of the CryoHelmet used by athletes for head injuries as well as migraine sufferers. Dr. Farrago is the author of four books, two of which are the top two most popular DPC books. From 2001 – 2011, Dr. Farrago was the editor and creator of the Placebo Journal which ran for 10 full years. Described as the Mad Magazine for doctors, he and the Placebo Journal were featured in the Washington Post, US News and World Report, the AP, and the NY Times. Dr. Farrago is also the editor of the blog Authentic Medicine which was born out of concern about where the direction of healthcare is heading and the belief that the wrong people are in charge. This blog has been going daily for more than 15 years Article about Dr. Farrago in Doximity Email Dr. Farrago – [email protected] 

  7 comments for “Cellphone Charger Through Urethra or Dead Fish in Rectum: What’s Your Choice?

  1. Kurt
    July 10, 2020 at 1:26 pm

    Man…….Those dorsal fins would get get stuck in the rectal wall and that fish t’ain’t going anywhere. As far as stuff in the bladder goes. I had a robotic prostatectomy and went home with a foley catheter the next day. Didn’t do anything for me one way or the other. I was ok when the foley was removed 5 days later except I had urinary retention 12 hours later and was grateful when a foley was put back in. Was easy as no prostate in the way! Over 1000cc out and I didn’t go into shock. He!! I was relieved!
    Urology said since I was a doctor I could remove it myself 2 days later. I was like WTF if this happens again? They said just come in and we’ll keep a slot open for you! Sheesh, at the appointed morning I drank a lot of coffee and water. I wanted the pee flowing. I got a hot shower running and brought a big garbage bag into the bathroom with me. I wanted no souvenirs!. Removed the foley, got into the shower and peed down my leg. A big smile followed. I mean stuff in my bladder didn’t do anything for me except I could drink a few beers at bedtime and not have to get up to go pee. Errrr, I dang well better get up early as that bag would be close to bursting!

  2. arf
    July 9, 2020 at 12:31 am

    channeling Deano

    Shove that eel up some guy
    Halfway up to the thigh
    That’s a moray……

  3. Larry
    July 8, 2020 at 2:29 pm

    “So, there you have it. Two men with too much time on their hands. ”

    I don’t think that time was what they had on their hands.

    BTW, I have to go in for a cystoscopy soon. Now that image is in my head….

  4. Diane Bergmann RN
    July 7, 2020 at 12:09 pm

    Phone charging cable, as I would be highly adverse to putting anything up my ass that might decompose.
    Took care of a septic man who did that with a gerbil back in the 80s. He died a horrible death.

  5. Gary Pearce MD
    July 7, 2020 at 9:01 am

    I would start with a jellyfish (stingers removed) or a Portuguese man-o war (stingers removed)………..or maybe an eel (the non-electric variety)
    just saying…….
    for me PERSONALLY I consider it to be a 1 way street
    I think with the current Covid pandemic, many people are avoiding the ER, perhaps just laying at home suffering- SAD
    I am an eye doctor- Foreign bodies are a bitch!

  6. Rick
    July 7, 2020 at 8:18 am

    Doug, I would highly recommend the fish suppository. If you haven’t tried it yet, I would suggest you start with Blue Gills. Don’t worry, you can work your way up to dolphins. Just start small.

    • Douglas Farrago MD
      July 7, 2020 at 8:28 am

      LOL

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