To Boldly Laugh

On November 1, 1968, the classic Star Trek episode “Day of the Dove” aired, guest-starring the ubiquitous Michael Ansara as Commander Kang, battling Kirk & Co. in deep space.  Both the humans and the Klingons were lured into a trap by a mysterious alien life force, then imprisoned on the U.S.S. Enterprise as it hurtles uncontrolled into oblivion.  As the warring parties battle, their phasers are weirdly turned into swords, and all wounds, even apparently mortal ones, heal on their own.  With access to most decks blocked and no way to control the ship, Kirk is desperate to find a solution before there is no turning back.

As spring warms up beyond the control of the benevolent bureaucrats anxious to keep everyone indoors, The Fauci has proclaimed:  “I would expect that as we get through the summer — late spring, early summer — there’s going to be a relaxation where you’re going to have more and more people allowed into baseball parks, very likely separated with seating, very likely continue to wear masks.”  This kingly degree is made not on the basis of any reproducible study, but is explained by a WaPo op-ed  “Clearly, the battle between fevered regional politics and worldwide-accepted immunological science, as well as varying virus infection levels, will create constantly changing crowd sizes in different parks.”  The key phrase is obviously “worldwide-accepted.”  For that, the “science” may vary, when the local peasantry dares question a global consensus.

It’s tough for a mortal to love the entire world, but The Fauci doesn’t plan on letting children slip through his tender ministrations.  From Face the Nation: “(Interviewer): So if parents are vaccinated, they still do need to be concerned about their unvaccinated children playing together in groups. Is that right?

(The) FAUCI: Yeah, the children can clearly wind up getting infected. When we talk about what you can do when you’re vaccinated, you can certainly have members of a family if the adults are vaccinated and you’re in the home with your child, you don’t need to wear a mask and you can have physical contact. When the children go out into the community, you want them to continue to wear masks when they’re interacting with groups from multiple households.”  Unburdened by any significant transmissibility between or from children who have a nearly nil mortality rate from COVID, yet buoyed by decades of experience in managing a too-large bureaucracy and manipulating his own public image, the anointed servant gives near-divine guidance.  His allies at the CDC have let us all know that kids can reduce their social distancing from 6 ft. to 3 ft., again based on good intentions unfettered by data.  The kiddies were not a threat last year, and by heavens we’re not going to let them threaten us now!

Towards the end of “Day of the Dove,” Spock locates the alien life force and discovers (“science”!) that it feeds off conflict and the misery of others.  Kirk realizes the only chance they have to defeat the enemy:  he captures Kang’s wife, and forces a meeting with the Klingon commander to explain his plan.  The humans and Klingons stop fighting each other and begin laughing at the alien, telling it to leave the ship as its malevolent need for control pulses, and fades.  The ship is saved, and everyone goes back to their normal and imperfect lives. 

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