CHANGE THE LENS THROUGH WHICH YOU LOOK

We all have certain responsibilities, duties, or obligations that are part of the various roles that we play in life. Some of these duties we thoroughly enjoy and others we would prefer to never HAVE TO perform. However, the reality is that even after building our mental fitness, learning to create better boundaries, embracing our deepest values, and shedding activities or ways of being that no longer serve us, there will always be something in our lives that we would prefer to not HAVE TO do. So, the question is: How can we make those moments more enjoyable?

The answer is perspective. The moment we begin to experience the resistance and heaviness of something that we “HAVE TO” do, we can choose to change the lens through which we are seeing the situation. And, the quickest way to do that is by simply changing one small word. All we have to do is swap “HAVE TO” with “GET TO”. In doing this, the view suddenly shifts 180 degrees. Our mind is suddenly freed. We are no longer victims to the situation at hand, and instead, can see the gift and possibility of what is in front of us.

For example, when I’m at work and a patient shows up on my schedule last minute, my initial reaction is usually a bit of annoyance due to the fact that I have a strong Stickler Saboteur that likes to have everything perfectly well organized and planned. However, when I realize that I am feeling annoyed because I now “HAVE TO” see one more patient, I quickly substitute “HAVE TO” with “GET TO”. It is really amazing what happens. All of a sudden, I feel a little bit of curiosity about the patient and my resistance to see him/her softens. I begin to consider what might come of my meeting this patient, and I am reminded of the privilege that I have as a physician to interact with hundreds of people and potentially touch their lives in a positive way.

It is no different when I am facing something that I don’t enjoy much at home. I have never been much of a cook, so “having to” cook dinner for my family on most days has in the past been a dreaded activity. However, when I again replace the “have to” with “get to” I am filled with gratitude- gratitude for having a family, gratitude for the fact that I CAN cook for them, gratitude for having the means to purchase the food that we need and like, etc, etc. It doesn’t change the fact that I will be cooking on most nights, but it does change the way I step into that. It allows me to no longer feel like a victim trapped in all of the “HAVE TOs” of my life.

I highly recommend that you give this a try. You will be amazed how just one little word can alter how you perceive your life!