Pathologically Punctual

So I was sometimes a pain in the ass for my office staff. (OK-maybe more than sometimes. I can hear the rolling eyes!)

I was “pathologically punctual”. (Some may ask “Are you sure you were a Doctor?) I was never late and usually came in early, to review MRI’s, fill out pre-op paperwork, sign all charts and forms so that when patients arrived I could devote all my attention to just seeing them and not get bogged down with things that I could do when there were no patients there.

I would also check future weeks to see what surgeries had been added and look at the schedule in the office for the day to see who was coming in. Sometimes I would know the patients on the list, sometimes not.

There are people who you never forget and when you see their name on the schedule you go “Oh sh*t” and you know your morning is ruined.

So one morning I began to look at the list and the first patient I said “Ugh”. Second patient I said “Oh no” Third patient out came“crap” And it kept going. I was getting depressed and the farther along the list I got, the angrier I got.”

“They should know not to put all these complicated people in the same morning. Each one of them is going to take forever. I am never going to make it to surgery on time (Did I tell you I am pathologically punctual?”)

But then the last patient listed at 11- the worst combination of difficult problem, difficult patient and endless questions that she would repeat over and over again followed by crying and her husband rubbing her shoulders. And I burst out “Not Hortense McGillicuddy (made up name)!!!”

About then my nurse, Mary, and my scheduler came in and I went apoplectic , ranting and raving about what a terrible schedule this was and who did this and what were they thinking?

They stood there very quietly, taking it all in until I finished. Then in unison they said “April Fools!, Dr Chase”

Our office manager, Meredith had declined all participation because “I don’t want to have any part of his heart attack”

Good one! They got me! I deserved it.

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