THE TRIALS of A JUROR
I was recently chosen as a juror for what might be called a “common” civil case. As irritated as I was upon finding out I had been selected to serve, this was a tremendous opportunity for me to witness a less-recognized reflection of myself.
On any given day, if asked, I would say that I am a fair and impartial person. I like to believe that I am capable of equally considering all points of view, and that I am a discerning not a judgmental individual. And this is true, for the most part. However, beholding how I was initially present as a juror, gave me insight into how I can carry biases into a situation even when I am trying not to.
As previously mentioned, when selected I was annoyed due to the inconvenience to my schedule and the repercussions from this. However, it did not take long to accept that there was no getting out of being a juror, and that it simply was as it was. It was after accepting this and still feeling resistance and anger that I got a clue that there was more underlying this. You see, when the negative neural patterns that are primarily linked to the survival areas of our brain are triggered, that is when we feel resistance, burden, heaviness, etc. So, I figured that there had to be some triggering going on, and I did the one thing that I knew would help me calm my brain and attain some clarity- PQ REPS.
If you have read some of my prior posts, you might remember that PQ reps are simple exercises that help us quiet our minds by focusing on one of our senses. And, when we do this, we are also able to better access the areas of our brain that engender curiosity, empathy, creativity, clarity, and focused action. As I settled into doing my PQ reps, I was able to quiet my judge of others and of circumstances and see what was at play. I noticed I was bringing into my role as juror my belief that our society is too litigious, and as a result I was judging the plaintiff for having entered a lawsuit. I felt burdened by something that I looked down upon. BAM! That hit me like a bolt of lightning. It’s not like I didn’t know that I believe our society is hyper-litigious, but I honestly thought that I was putting that and any thoughts about the plaintiff aside. In that moment it was clear as day that I had not, and it was affecting how I was being present.
This realization caused me to feel guilt, shame, and disappointment in myself. These, too, are emotions associated with activation of the survival brain, so I, again, resorted to doing PQ reps. This time I needed to quiet my judge of self. When I managed to attain a little internal peace, three things happened:
- I was able to feel more empathy for the situation and all involved,
- I was able to feel more empathy for myself, and 3. I became genuinely curious (without judgement) about where else in my life I might be bringing in biased beliefs.
I am not sure exactly why, but this awareness that I may often show up with some baggage, has been liberating. I feel like a veil has been lifted and I can now see what I am carrying. And this gives me the option to put it down. I was able to put it down for the remaining of the court case and be truer to my vision of self.
I am sharing this experience with you at the risk of being judged by you because I want to highlight the constant opportunity for learning and growth provided by the practice of mental fitness. It never ceases to amaze me. I have been on this journey for over 3 years, and still discover something new about myself regularly. I know that without the mental fitness I have built over these years I would not have been able to identify, nor ameliorate the situation I have recounted. And now I feel empowered to take similar action in other situations. I can begin to peer into nooks and crannies where other biases may be sneakily hiding and keeping me from being how I want to be. If you are interested in learning about mental fitness, I once again highly recommend that you read Positive Intelligence by Shirzad Chamine, and/or contact me.
Enjoyed the insights of this post. I must admit to being a bit surprised because my perception of the writers has been more of a libertarian leaning group. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I lean that way too. Anyway, the humanistic tone of this post was most welcome.
I have been called for jury duty several times over the years, though not for quite some time. In Pennsylvania where I live, jurors are selected based on voter registration and drivers license records. During the jury selection process, I have been quickly dismissed after having been identified as a physician. Perhaps I now have a black mark by my name!
Like Dr Cruz, I would probably have to talk to myself quite a bit not to succumb to bias against a plaintiff in a civil suit, but I would do my best. Unfortunately, in our state the number of suits has been increasing drastically. Reforms from the 90’s are now being reversed, with change of venue now being allowed, which favors plaintiff’s unfairly. I would like to think that jurors do the type of soul searching described by Dr Cruz. Some of the cases I read about lead me to question this. Unfortunately, I think serving as a juror can be an opportunity for revenge against those who have done better under a system which is too often not just. All the more reason to exert a positive impact for justice when we have a chance to participate. I’ll be retired soon, with enough time to serve as a juror. It will be interesting to see if I ever get called again.
I expect you’ll be dismissed again and just as quickly. Plaintiff attorneys want jurors who can’t think for themselves and are easily led. That disqualifies a majority of physicians. And that would go double for physicians who have had prior experience with the system
Well I do many things poorly. Some awfully. But I do one thing well. I don’t judge – at least others. I am hesitant to dive into self because even light forays into my psyche are dark and scary.
But my reason for replying is more basic. I think it is entirely inappropriate for physicians to be called for jury duty – we should have an automatic pass lifetime on jury duty. People are conditioned from very very young to defer and listen to physicians. We hold far more sway in any jury room than is appropriate- we are not experts in law but we can swing a jury any way we want. Just my two cents on that.
I agree to some extent that as physicians people often give our opinion more weight. Precisely to that point is why I felt the need to really figure out where my resistance was coming from. I did not want any opinion that I voiced come from a place where there could be some bias.
Unfortunately, my state disagrees, and being a physician is not a reason to be dismissed from jury duty. Even being a solo physician, so no one else to cover, is not an excuse.
Last time my wife was on jury duty, she wanted to find them all guilty. Plaintiff, defendant, lawyers for both sides, and the judge. She would have jailed them all if she had a chance.
I don’t know how common this is, but my state picks jurors based on voter lists AND driver license lists. I had a receptionis, a foreign national, married to an American, legal to work in USA and all that, but for her own reasons, never applied for dual citienship with USA. So, not a citizen. She got jury summons notices frequently, kept responding “not a citizen”, but summons repeated in a few months. She inquired, and to her surprise, that was the response, our state goes by driver license rolls as well as voter registration. Lots of non-citizens have driver licenses. I have to wonder how many non-citizens serve on juries in this state. I have to imagine a significant number of non-citizens in my state get a summons and just assume that means they have to serve. I also have to imagine from time to time, some of those people slip through the screening process and end up on a jury.