23 And You … Not Me

Several years ago, I was sharing some beers with a friend while we were enjoying another glorious Saturday of college football, and somehow or other during the commercials, we got to talking about the 23andMe phenomenon (in fairness, it must have been during halftime or between games, because there is no way I would have sullied important on-screen battle with anything as silly as faddish suburban genetics).  Our friend is actually an internationally renowned geneticist, as well as a really nice guy, and was waxing enthusiastically on the ability of everyday people to mail off some dried spit to learn which continents their ancestors once trod.  I registered decisive disdain for any personal participation, and as any true scientist (not the Fauci kind) would, my friend was dismayed.

“But why wouldn’t you?” he asked, “You would be contributing to the greater body of knowledge and research.” 

“I don’t care,” I answered.  I didn’t care, and still don’t because I’m only mildly interested, but not so much that I wish any of my genetic information to be unnecessarily shared with anyone.  “A c’mon Conrad, you paranoid pot-stirrer,” I can hear some of you say now, eyes rolling, “You’re always coming on here warning about government, or Big Tech/Pharma/Insurance/Hospital trying to target us.  Give it a rest, this is just science.”  Our friend’s initial instinct was such because he is a genuine scientist, which means he is an honest person, not naïve by any stretch, but he simply didn’t think it through.

“It has been reported that a few million data points from the 23andMe user accounts have been revealed on Breach Forums, a cybercrime marketplace, leaking a trove of user information which was stolen from the company’s subset of data.”  Well of course it was.

“Hackers posted the data on Breach Forums, claiming that it contains 1 million genetic data points ‘solely from Ashkenazi Jews.’ There were also hundreds of thousands of users of Chinese nationality who were affected by the leak.”

The actual genetic data are not merely isolated points, but are connected to individual names and birthdates, which means that any 10-year-old with a smart phone could quickly locate someone and already know something intimate about him.  And if that pain-in-the-ass kid could find someone with a genetic, um, “variation,” how much more could Big Tech/Pharma/Insurance/Hospital, or of course, the government learn about an individual?  Suppose Big Insurance got the DNA heads-up on a woman descended from multiple family members with breast cancer?  How easy would it be alter the actuarial forecast and jack up the premiums for an unlucky lady hopeful to start a family, but has a (recessive) cystic fibrosis gene?  What if a physician applying for privileges at a corporate hospital is known by that corporation to have a cautionary A1 allele of the DRD2 gene?  Can that physician safely attend a cocktail party where he might be spotted by the CEO?  

And what if someone’s genetics demonstrate a strong correlation with longevity?  Wouldn’t the bean counters at CMS love to find a rationale for another angle on the inevitable means testing that will be necessary to keep afloat the godawful false promises of Medicare?  At age 30, you are likely to live to 98.3 years, which means we’ll spend more on you over longer years, so your premiums will need to go up substantially.  

And how could doctors be punished for this crap?  You KNEW your patient had the gene for (_______) and you FAILED to start him/her/they on (_______).  The contemptible malpractice lawyers must already be tying on their lobster bibs.  And the equally awful Big Insurance knives will gin up a whole new list of codes, covered/not covered, and genetic documentation requirements.  In 1985, hijackers of TWA Flight 847 collected passports to sort out a certain ethnicity.  How much more could a nation that has a totalitarian grip over more than a billion people try to “sort out” undesirables via genetic info?  How much more would a nation that attempted to force unnecessary vaccines try to get away with when armed with the proper individual data …  collected by the same physicians who were bullied into enforcing the abuses we saw over the past three years?

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