A new study shows that elderly people who always drive with a pet in their car are far more likely to crash than those who never drive with a pet. I know, earth shattering, right? Published in a recent issue of the journal Accident Analysis and Prevention, the findings are consistent with the fact that a lot of elderly people are just shitty drivers. And it turns out that if you distract them they tend to be even shittier. So, if you want a grant to study whether the elderly crash more while texting, listening to their spouse nag, changing the radio station, leaning over to fart or driving when they are tired then you can easily get a grant from the Institute of Obvious Observations.