Anger and Sorrow
I want to share with you all how I have been feeling the past week and a half. I hope that sharing my experience and the process that I am going through can be helpful to any who has ever felt similarly.
Many of you may have already heard about the July 4th shootings that took place in Highland Park, Il. Highland Park is just about 10 minutes down the highway from my house, and it is a community we are very familiar with, as my 17 year old daughter is a student at the ballet academy located only 1 block from where the shootings took place. In fact, on the day of the shooting I had dropped her off at 8:30 in the morning for her scheduled ballet class. She had asked me to drive her there because she knew the parade would be taking place and parking would be limited. As I pulled up to the building where the studio is located, I remarked on how many people had already set up their chairs and stations to watch the parade. It was a beautiful morning-perfect for the festivities.
After dropping her off I headed to the gym to get my work out in, and shortly after getting home I received a text from my daughter: “There were gun-shots here. Please don’t worry. We are all okay. We have locked all the doors to the studio. Do not come to Highland Park. I will let you know what is going on.” When I first saw this, I didn’t understand. I had not yet seen or heard anything about the shootings, and was utterly confused. I proceeded to go online to find out what had happened. In that moment it didn’t seem real. For the next several hours my daughter continued to send me updates assuring me that she, her classmates, and teacher were all safe. Eventually they were evacuated by police to the local grocery store where parents were then able to pick them up.
Once I arrived in Highland Park and got closer to where the shooting had taken place, I felt like I was in one of those post-apocalyptic movies. There were large police vehicles and tanks scattered in various places. The remnants of people’s belongings were strewn about all over the sidewalks. After going through a few roadblocks (explaining to officers I was there to pick up my daughter), I finally was able to see her beautiful face. And that is when it all really hit me-how incredibly blessed I was to be picking up my daughter, and how the lives of so many others would forever be changed. Processing all of this has been challenging. I can’t even begin to imagine what the injured, their families and friends, and the families and friends of those who died, are feeling.
Those of you who have read my prior posts know that I avidly support and practice mental fitness. This practice, in addition to my faith, allows me to work my way through difficult moments and find opportunities for growth, for learning, and for bringing something better into the world. Yet, I have to be honest and say that this incident has taken me to a place of great anger and sorrow. I am so angry for what all the innocent families have gone through and will likely continue to go through for years to come. I am so angry at the fact that a young man with a known history of mental illness could have access to such destructive weapons. I am so angry that every time my kids step out of our house, I will actively have to work on letting go of the fear that they might be victims to a random shooting. And, I am filled with sorrow for the children of today. I think one of the things that hit me hardest was a comment by my youngest child, my 13 year old daughter, who said, “This is really sad, and it was so scary to know that my sister was there, but this is just part of what happens now. There are shootings all the time. We’ve grown up with this, mom.” I am at a loss for words. I am grieving the innocence of our children and the loss of their childhoods.
I will continue to go through the process of grieving. I will continue to practice mental fitness to grow my mental “muscles” so that I can recover from negative loops of thought more quickly. I will continue to strengthen my faith in a power much bigger than us. And, I will find an opportunity for good.
I am Astounded that you are Angry. Where have you been for the last 300,000 years of Human History..EVIL EXISTs looks like your next door neighbor,who has 3 bodies in his or Her large chest freezer, or that nice young teen who gave a date rape drug to a 12 yr old so he and his friends could have some fun.Or the 3 gal friends who would sneak out and go smoke weed or talk. 2 girls decided they did not like one gal,killed her and dumped her body out in the woods.Police would not have found her body if one of the killers had not walked into the police station and confessed..
This is a beautiful fantsstic world but the bugs, birds, big fish,lions tigers and bears will kill you for food or just as a target who walked into their territory. The big # 1 prime predator is HUMANS.
YES there is mental illness but every one of these young killers told a lot of people What They Were Going to DO..Many were on or had been on SSRI meds , smoked Marijuana or used other substances..
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN WELL.HOW MANY WEAPONS ARE IN A ROOM? Can your children FIGHT DID YOU TEACH THEM. CAN THEY USE A RIFLE PISTOL OR SHOTGUN TO DEFEND THEMSELVES?. Where to stab someone so they will bleed out quickly? EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN.. TEACH THEM TO SURVIVE .
HAVE YOU READ , THE GIFT OF FEAR , by GAVIN DEBECKER Great book
I am Angry. I am angry my wife died 10 months ago,I am angry I have a cancer that has little or no treatment.
I am angry my daughter ,who was in the Air Force,got encephalitis,viral while in Hawaii and I called up the Surgeon General of the Army, (Army Hospital) to get proper care for my active duty daughter.They did NOT meet the Community Standard of Care.If we her parents had not fought for her they would have screwed her over more than they did. 30% disability rating for her.
I am Angry when 14 active duty females told me a PHYSICIAN was being inappropriate in his exams of them.
I informed the chain of command,that physician was relieved of his duties, while investigations were done.Yes I believe he lost his license,booted out of service.
I am angry that a physician killed 20 people in 2 years in my first PA job. The state board said yes he was bad,but there were worse ones under investigation and they only had 2 investigators.When they discovered I was one of the people who spoke with the investigators,gave them chart numbers, I and my family were Threatened. Took 2 years after I left to shut that very bad person down..
NOW I AM ANGRY THAT A VACCINE THAT IS NOT SAFE OR EFFECTIVE IS BEING PUSHED ON PEOPLE AND CHILDREN. We now have 15 to 49 yr olds dying from heart problems,women having miscarriages, amd vaccine induced immune system problems showing up.Everywhere the VAX has been given..
YES I AM ANGRY BECAUSE HUMAN GREED, EGO AND ARROGANCE IS ONCE AGAIN HURTING PEOPLE,
KILLING PEOPLE.. and you are angry…… AMAZING…