Top 15 Ways to Cheaply Boost Staff Morale

  1. Have all providers go bottomless for the day.
  2. Dress as your favorite patient; extra points for mimicking the correct smell.
  3. Pretend you are an administrator for the day and do no work.
  4. Hide your favorite demented patient and play hide and go seek.
  5. Go on an outing to your favorite cemetery and see who can locate the most patients….er, ex-patients.
  6. Play the insulin game.  Each staff member takes 30 u of regular insulin and see who passes out first.   Have plenty of candy or glucagon around.
  7. Grease the hallway with Vaseline and see who can slide the farthest.  This can also be left on the floor for the rest of the day to see how many patients fall (a cruel but hysterical game).
  8. Play Russian roulette with urine containers.  Save enough samples of urine and place some apple juice in other ones.  See who makes the most mistakes with a taste-testing contest.
  9. Have a creative cookie swap with treats that look like different stool samples you have collected over the years.
  10. Decorate the office like a morgue and see how many patients it creeps out.
  11. Have a Cinco de Pendo Day and have everyone wear adult diapers for the day.  Then lock the bathroom door and see who uses them.
  12. Give each staff member a list of five annoying patients and have them call their place of work with meaningless questions or angry demands.
  13. Have your staff bring their children to work for a day and then set up a fake code to scare them (into never going into the medical field).
  14. Invite the hottest drug reps to come in at the same time to compete for your business.  This does nothing for your staff but you will love it and your staff can be happy vicariously through you.
  15. Hold a monthly potluck day where one member brings in a homemade dish that contains medical marijuana.

Douglas Farrago MD

Douglas Farrago MD is a full-time practicing family doc in Forest, Va. He started Forest Direct Primary Care where he takes no insurance and bills patients a monthly fee. He is board certified in the specialty of Family Practice. He is the inventor of a product called the Knee Saver which is currently in the Baseball Hall of Fame. The Knee Saver and its knock-offs are worn by many major league baseball catchers. He is also the inventor of the CryoHelmet used by athletes for head injuries as well as migraine sufferers. Dr. Farrago is the author of four books, two of which are the top two most popular DPC books. From 2001 – 2011, Dr. Farrago was the editor and creator of the Placebo Journal which ran for 10 full years. Described as the Mad Magazine for doctors, he and the Placebo Journal were featured in the Washington Post, US News and World Report, the AP, and the NY Times. Dr. Farrago is also the editor of the blog Authentic Medicine which was born out of concern about where the direction of healthcare is heading and the belief that the wrong people are in charge. This blog has been going daily for more than 15 years Article about Dr. Farrago in Doximity Email Dr. Farrago – [email protected] 

  2 comments for “Top 15 Ways to Cheaply Boost Staff Morale

  1. Richard W. Mondak
    December 7, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    I actually did this one:

    Have a high ranking police official come to the office with an ‘official-looking’ warrant and two dozen donuts.

    He presented the donuts to the Nurse, cuffed the provider (me) and we walked out of the back door with a nearly full waiting room…. (my very good friend since Junior High School is Chief of Police in a town where we had a weekly clinic, but the Staff did know know that).

    He was afraid that the Nurses would not take it well and would be upset with both of us. After the shocked silence, they talked about it jokingly for weeks.

  2. Burton Mendel
    November 30, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    Here’s another:
    Dress an undercover police-person as your receptionist then post a “Free Narcotic Scripts Today” sign in your window.

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